Everything I Needed to Know About Life I Learned from Romance Novels

Happy December, Faithful Readers!

I don’t know if you remember that old Internet meme that was passed around on AOL in the days when Gmail was just a gleam in a computer nerd’s eye. It was all about the silly things that are common movie tropes--like the fact that there is always a loaf of French bread in every grocery bag, that all sheets are “L” shaped (to tuck up under a woman’s armpits but around a man’s waist), that no bad guys can ever shoot straight, and that the Eiffel Tower is visible from every window in Paris, the same way that the Brooklyn Bridge is visible from every window in Brooklyn. Things that will seriously confuse whatever alien culture comes to inhabit our world after we’re long gone...

I was thinking about this as I was having trouble falling asleep last night. You see, I had made the dreaded mistake of having caffeine too late in the day. And, all I could think was the fact that Romance Novel Heroines NEVER have trouble sleeping because of caffeine, even though they are constantly drinking tea!

Which led me to all of the other things that seem to hold true in Romance World. Or, to steal a phrase from one of my favorite books about romance Romancelandia.

So, without further ado, Top Ten Reasons I Would Like to Live in a Regency Romance Novel:

- People always curb their dogs. And horses.

- Tea can be drunk at all hours of the day or night and the caffeine will never keep you up. (Nor will having to, ahem, heed the call of nature...)

- Attending Afternoon Tea everyday. And, while we’re at it, tea cakes!

- Though there is no centralized heating, no one ever seems to get that cold. This one is very near and dear to my heart right now since I am ALWAYS cold!

- There is an unending supply of very good-looking male nobility.

- All of said good-looking male nobility can waltz divinely!

- Most of the good-looking, waltzing male nobility have heads for figures and make scads of money.

= Gunters. I mean, doesn’t that place just sound yummy?

- Pretty, pretty dresses.

- All those lovely houses with their sumptuous libraries.

What about you? What would induce you to hop a magic carpet back in time to brave the wilds of the Pump Room?


Anonymous Katrina said:

What a lovely topic! I would add Five More Reasons to Live in a Regency Romance:

- the delicious accents (I know you can hear them in your head while reading...)

- endless castles, mansions, town-homes and country estates to wander and explore.

- guaranteed rescue in case of kidnapping.

- job security: if you ever lose that job as housekeeper, it will only be to become the mistress of the place.

- never having to think, "aw, I should have said..." - instead one has rapier wit for every occasion!

10:59 AM  

Blogger Heather Snow said:

1. Someone else would have to fix my hair everyday! I mean seriously, I am not talented in that arena. How nice it would be to have someone create dazzling coiffures for me!

2. I agree with the afternoon tea and cakes, but I'll go a step further. Were I a Regency romance heroine, I could drink all that tea and eat all of those cakes and still maintain my figure :)

3. The estate gardens and parks...oh, how I love flowers and lakes and water features. However, I also have a purple thumb. It would be lovely to have a bevy of gardners at my disposal and I would give anything for a FOLLY!

4. Themed balls - I'd love to see an orangery draped in shimmering fabric and transformed into Arabian nights or some other bit of magical decor.

5. If I were a Regency heroine, it would be EXPECTED of me to dance late into the night, and sleep in every day. Wouldn't that be nice?

1:12 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home