As an editor, I am often thrust forth onto the unsuspecting public. Conferences, cocktail parties, and lunches all come with the territory of being an editor. Since I was raised fairly well, I try to retain my tact and decorum at all times, even when people say—and do—the darndest things.

There was the moment I was swooped down upon in an airport. It was 6 AM. A large conference had just finished up, and I’d been working nonstop for five days straight. That was not the moment to pitch a story, but someone took it! I was also pitched a story in an elevator…a stuck-between-floors, glass elevator, and later accused of “rudeness” when I didn’t respond with enthusiasm. (Trust me I was more worried that the elevator was going to plummet to earth any second.) And let’s not forget the woman who told me she has “vampires, real vampires” living in her basement.

Anyway, this got me to thinking. I’ve been blessed. During the course of my travels I’ve met so many people who are simply fantastic. They’ve opened their hearts, sometimes their homes, and have gone out of their way to make me feel welcomed wherever I go.

I know all the authors I work with feel the same way, but I had to ask them—what’s the funniest thing anyone has ever said to you?


From Kathryn Caskie, author of the upcoming HOW TO SEDUCE A DUKE:

I was chatting with three readers, when I noticed a man skulking around nearby. He was wearing a nice tailored suit, looked sane, so I promptly forgot about him. Until the readers left.

Then, he walked up and told me that if I would just take off my shoes and let him look at my feet, he would buy all of my books.

"Excuse me?"

He repeated his offer.

My, oh my.

I looked down at the teetering stack of books before me, then up at Mr. Perv again.

Did I do it? Well, I had just gotten a pedicure the day before.

Still, my pumps were really cute --but new, which meant I was sporting a Band-Aid over a nasty blister on my pinkie toe.

He would withdraw his creepy offer if he saw that. At least, I was pretty sure.

"I don't think so (you freak!)" I mumbled, while glancing nervously around, wondering if the bookstore had a security guard skilled in removing skeevy guys.

That was but my most recent up close and waaaay too personal moment. Don't get me started on some of the emails I've received.


Christie Ridgway, author of CARE AND FEEDING OF UNMARRIED MEN:

At one of my first booksignings ever, a man came to the head of the line. Without a word, he reached into his pocket, drew out a square jeweler's box and flipped it open to present to me a...diamond solitaire engagement ring!

Then he told me he'd seen my photo in the morning paper advertising the booksigning. Just as I was about to reply that I was, um, happily married, he went on to say that I looked like someone who could give him a good critique of the ring and his upcoming wedding proposal!

Needless to say, he was not my idea of the perfect romance hero, but he did eventually buy a book. :)


Dixie Cash, author of MY HEART MAY BE BROKEN, BUT MY HAIR STILL LOOKS GREAT:

I had a woman, after reading the 2nd book, ask me if Debbie Sue had put on weight? When I asked why she would think that (there was no description of her having put on weight in the book) she said, "Oh I don't know, she just seemed heavier to me."
So now I write fat?


Lorraine Heath, author of PROMISE ME FOREVER:

One of my more interesting experiences was when I was doing a booksigning with Rachelle Morgan. A man wearing a baseball cap sauntered up to me at the table and said, "So you're a romance writer?" I replied yes. He leaned near and said, "Darlin', I'm all the romance you need."

Everything happened quickly. A couple of readers' jaws dropped. Horror crossed the bookstore manager's face and she began to move forward, intent on telling him to leave. Rachelle came to her feet and was about to light into him when I held up my hand, smiled at everyone, and said, "It's okay. He's my husband."

Needless to say, I now leave him at home.


Toni Blake, author of the upcoming SWEPT AWAY:

Oh golly, hard to narrow it down, but here’s one, from a large multi-genre bookfair. Some smarmy man saw the couple on my bookcover and said, “Oh, you write the DIRTY books! Show me the DIRTY parts!” I was so stunned that I failed to summon a response, so my much more toughened friend next to me said, “You want to read them – buy the book.” Instead, this guy picks up the book and turns through it page by page, announcing every time he found a sex scene, then leered at me over top of the book while he read it. How charming.


From Cait London, author of FLASHBACK:

The usual wink-wink question is: "How do you research all your sex scenes?" Second usual question is (if you're doing a signing), "Where's the bathroom?" Then, "How much money do you make?" And next is, "When are you going to write a real book?"

The favorite comment is pretty usual, too: "I'd like to be a writer, too. It's easy. I'd have lots of time to do what I really want."

About that pink-boa time: I don't know of anyone who actually wears them when they write. But I do know of writers who write with those feathery pen thingies, preferring pink. I prefer turquoise, myself.

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6 Comments:

Blogger Camy Tang said:

Oh my gosh! So do authors need a bodyguard to rough up the rabble?

Although Lorraine Heath's husband story is CUTE. :) Maybe I'll have to lug my hunk-o-burnin'-love with me to my signings.

Camy

2:56 AM  

Blogger Bookstoredeb said:

LOL These are too funny. I was reading a couple of them to my DH, especially Lorainne Heaths. He said he could see himself doing that to me! I told him I would have to shoot him! lol He just grinned. He's so scared of me.

As a bookseller I can imagine the managers face!

10:11 AM  

Blogger Terri said:

OMG! The shoe story is SO funny! I'm dying here... thank goodness for that bandaid! What a dilemma-nice pedicure and cute shoes vs. harmless foot fetishist and money in the bank.

I think I saw this on Sex In The City... :)

6:39 PM  

Blogger Kathryn S said:

I once had an elderly lady come up to me at a signing and tell me she didn't dare buy one of my books because she was celibate and didn't want to buy a book that might get her "all worked up."

NOT an image I wanted to carry around with me, let me tell you that. lol

1:02 AM  

Blogger Cathryn Fox said:

I once had a man ask me (in a gymnasium during an elemtary school concert) if I write about all that sex because I'm not getting enough and craving it, or if I'm getting so much it's spilling out and I have to write about it.

I kindly told him, I write about *great* sex, so his wife knows what she's missing!

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